What If She Loves You
by catatran33
Summary: It's Abby's Birthday, and Gibbs takes her out for a birthday dinner. He wants to tell her he loves her, but he's afraid of the consequences. But little does he know, Abby is conflicted as well. How will this night of conflict and admission turn out?


NCIS

It was a special day—a _very_ special day. It was Abby's birthday and Gibbs was taking her out to dinner, a tradition that Gibbs started so long ago.

Gibbs tried to calm himself down. He was nervous as hell. He couldn't figure out why. It was Abby for goodness sakes! He shouldn't be feeling like a school boy who was going out on his first date. He wasn't supposed to be this anxious—but he was.

Pulling the car into the parking lot of Abby's apartment complex, Gibbs arrived right on time—7:30 on the dot. As he made his way to the front entrance, he mentally slapped himself for being such a wimp. Gibbs pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Abby, which picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Abbs. I'm here."

"Gibbs!" He could see the smile that formed on her angelic face. "I'll buzz you up!"

With a small smile on his rugged face, Gibbs shook his head at Abby's childish personality—a personality that he loved so dearly. She could always put a smile on his face even during his darkest moods. Her presence always calmed him down, even more so than his boat did.

Walking up the short flight of stairs to her apartment, he started to show all the symptoms of anxiety. The quickening heart beat. The sweaty palms. The shaky hands. _What the hell is going on here?! It's just Abby! A friend. A really good friend! There's no harm in taking her out to dinner for her birthday!_, he told himself. Well then, why was he acting like this?! He hadn't felt this nervous since he first took Shannon out on their first date. He sighed. _Abby's more than a good friend. I love her… and I can't even tell her. I can't even love her the way I want to. All those kisses on the cheek and hugs, it's so hard not to take her in my arms and cherish her like I want to. Even if I did have the guts to tell her, she would probably think I'm a pervert. Unrequited love sucks…_

Finally reaching the door, Gibbs knocked and waited. A few seconds later, he heard footsteps growing closer and the distinct sound of the lock being undone.

Gibbs stood mesmerized at the figure before him. Wearing a stunning, curve-hugging, red satin dress, Abby looked like a goddess out of Greek mythology. Her naturally straight hair was now curled softly, framing her beautiful face. He admired her from head to toe, wishing he could just forget about Rule #12 and cross the threshold intending to do what he had wanted for so long. Realizing he was staring, he brought his gaze up to meet Abby.

"You look… stunning." His ocean blue eyes turned a slightly darker blue. A faint smile curved his lips, showing his approval of the outfit she had chosen.

Smiling, Abby replied, "Thanks, Gibbs. You're so sweet."

"I'm not sweet. It's true." He reached out to touch her face, signing 'my girl', making her smile grow even larger.

His gaze held hers for what seemed like forever. Finally, he held out his arm for her, indicating that they should go. "Ready?"

Abby nodded, slipping her arm around his and resting her head against his shoulder as they walked to the car.

* * *

"You okay?"

They had just finished dinner, and Gibbs had suggested a stroll in the park. And with a smile, Abby agreed. Now, Gibbs remained quiet as they walked through the cool, clear night. Abby had sensed something had been off, but she couldn't pinpoint what it was. And she knew better than to ask Gibbs outright what was bothering him.

"Yeah, I'm okay, Abbs," he said in a soft, husky voice. He looked at her was a quick smile.

"You sure?" Abby asked, unconvinced. Gibbs nodded.

They walked several more minutes in complete silence, arm in arm, just enjoying each other's company and warmth.

Suddenly, Abby felt Gibbs' hand at the small of her back, guiding her off the paved walkway. She wondered what Gibbs could be doing as he obeyed his gentle push from his hand. Wandering into the semi-open area of the park, they were surrounded by large oak trees, with the starry sky as their only light. Walking a little further, Gibbs slowly stopped to a halt near one of the few trees who still had leaves on its branches.

Gibbs stared off into the distance, gathering his thoughts, wondering if this was the right thing to do and if he should even be doing it. Shoving his hands into his coat pockets, he shuffled his feet as he looked at the ground, unable to meet her inquiring emerald gaze.

Abby was utterly confused, and it showed. Worried, she asked, "Gibbs, what's going on?"

Taking a deep breath, he faced her with a helpless expression on his face. "Have you ever loved someone that never loved you back?"

Now, Abby was the one that dropped her gaze from his. "Um, yeah, I have."

"What did you do?"

"I…I didn't do anything. I just kept it a secret, hoping that one day maybe he will finally notice me."

"Is that it?"

She slowly nodded. "There's nothing else I can do. Gibbs, why are you asking me this? Are you in love with someone?" The possibility that he may well be in love with another woman was almost too painful to bear. Her eyes started to glaze over, and she tried to keep the tears from revealing something she wasn't ready to reveal.

It was his turn to nod. "I am. I love someone. I've been in love a _long_ time. But I don't think she loves me back, Abbs. I don't know what to do. If I tell her, I might just lose her forever." He went over and leaned back against the trunk of the oak tree, as if in defeat.

"Gibbs." He turned his head at the sound of her voice. "You say you love her, but that you don't want to lose her. What if she loves you back?... What if she feels the same way you're feeling right now?" Gibbs remained quiet, digesting the words Abby was saying. She crossed her arms, shielding herself from the cold as she continued, "Years from now, do you want to be wondering 'what if'? It hurts to know the person you love may not love you back, but taking that leap of faith may end up being the greatest best thing you did. The only thing holding you back is the fear of not being loved by that someone else."

"Do you still love him?"

She walked slowly to his side, leaning her shoulder against the tree trunk. Looking up at his tortured expression, she replied, "Yes. I still love him."

"Did you ever tell him?"

"No. I was too scared."

Gibbs looked down at his feet, wondering what he was going to do. _Just do it! She's right here, so close that you can feel her warmth. What have you got to lose?! If she isn't the one, there's someone else out there for you. _Gibbs shook his head, and chuckled slightly at his thoughts. _You want her. You need her. Tell her you love her…_

Gibbs sighed again, as he looked down to gaze into Abby's green eyes. _Here goes nothing._

"Abby, do you think I should tell her?" She nodded and quickly turned her head to hide the tears that started to well in her eyes. Gibbs brought his hand up and cupped Abby's cheek, putting a gentle, but firm pressure asking her to look at him. She turned and looked up at him. Gibbs saw the tears even in the darkness. And it broke his heart to see her so sad. It hurt him to know that he was the one who caused it. "Abby…"

Abby just shook her head, trying to stop the tears from flowing down her cheek. Gibbs gathered her up in his arms and hugged her close, resting his chin on the top of her head. Stroking her hair, he closed his eyes against his feelings for her. Having her this close always made his heart ache. She was so close, yet so far. He lived for her. And if he told her, he might just lose the only thing that had to live for. He hugged her even tighter as she wept against his shoulder.

Gibbs let out a shuddered breath as he backed away from Abby. He brought his hands up to her soft face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. She looked beautiful to him, and she always would be.

Abby looked up at him through her tears, and thought that she must be dreaming. Gibbs eyes were watery with tears he was trying to contain.

Cradling her face, he brought it closer to his until their foreheads touched. "Abby…" He closed his eyes against the emotion that overwhelmed him. Abby reach up and wrapped her delicate fingers around his wrists, holding on to something she never thought would ever be.

Through his heavy breathing, he whispered softly, "Abby… I… I love you. I have for a long time." Abby's grip tightened around his wrists, hoping and praying that this was not another dream.

"Abby, look at me." She obeyed, and met his gaze. And what she saw in his eyes was the love that he had kept hidden from her. Bringing her hands to rest on his chest, she declared her love. "I…I love you, too." Gibbs sucked in a breath, not believing in what was really happening.

He stroked her cheek in disbelief, smiling in spite of himself. No sooner than Abby had spoken her love for him, he'd pulled her closer until his lips met hers in an urgent kiss, one that had been a long time coming. They poured years worth of emotion into the kiss. Tongues dueled, conquered and lost. She tasted sweeter than Gibbs ever could have imagined. He sucked on her bottom lip, eliciting a moan from Abby. Once he tasted her, he couldn't get enough. He kept returning to sip at her delicious ruby lips, wondering how on earth she could be so sweet. Hands wandered and discovered, skirting over every inch that was available.

After an eternity of bliss, they finally parted, breathing heavily caused by the intimate exchange. They looked into each other's eyes, now seeing the love they both thought had never been there.

Lightly stroking her cheek with is thumb, Gibbs smiled at Abby. "Happy Birthday, Abbs."

Abby reached up and gave him a gentle and tender kiss, her eyes sparkling with happiness. After she pulled back, Gibbs kissed her forehead. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he whispered in her ear. "Let's go home."

Abby smiled, and nodded in agreement.


End file.
